That’s how you’re gonna beat em, Craig. They keep underestimating you.

In my mind, Craig Bellamy’s career has been very cyclical. It seems that he is being repeatedly underappreciated when playing for larger clubs. After signing for Coventry in the summer of 2000, his career has panned out something like this: 1. Performs well at a “small” club (one that is neither in the Champions League nor … Continue reading

What does a football look like?

One hundred pictures of footballs from crests of clubs and national teams or associations. On Goals Scored: failing to answer questions that no one asked. See also: The graphical vocabulary of the 2011-2012 Premier League crests, Cresty bits quiz

NUFC 5 – 0 MUFC: Five goals, fifteen years, two dimensions

Fifteen years ago today, Newcastle United beat Manchester United by five goals to nil. It was class. My tribute comes in the form of five still images, each showing one of the five goals. Since my days doodling as a schoolboy I have tried to draw goals. By “goals” I mean acts of scoring in … Continue reading

One Too Many Managers

I recently posted a series of graphs showing the effects of changing manager on the battle against relegation among newly promoted teams. As a Newcastle fan and punishment glutton, I had no choice but to apply the same to the masterpiece in the field of managerial mess that was the Magpies’ 2008-09 season. The aim … Continue reading

I’m Sticking With You / After Promotion

It’s only the start of October and newly promoted teams QPR, Norwich and Swansea have already dropped thirteen points each. The directors of those clubs must surely be thinking about jettisoning their managers and bringing in new faces. Sure, Neil Warnock, Paul Lambert and Brendan Rodgers won promotion last season – but what have they … Continue reading

Why not 20 teams, UEFA?

The qualifiers for the European Championship are approaching their end and they will have soon completed the guest-list for the 16-team party that is the final tournament – probably for the last time. The format of four groups of four, which was first used at Euro ’96, is being replaced and 24 teams will assemble … Continue reading

André Villas-Boas: a detailed visual analysis

See also: Robin van Persie

Quiz: Golaccio!

Cast your mind back to the mid 1990s: in Italy, Silvio Berlusconi is Prime Minister, the economy has been shaken by a recent recession and Alessandro Del Piero is finding the net for Juventus. You live in a world where live football of any kind is a rare event on terrestrial television and even Match … Continue reading

The Lion, the Bird and the Seahorse

Sick of season previews that go on about meaningless stuff like new signings, potential weaknesses and predicted positions? Below is a round up of the twenty 2011-12 Premier League teams in terms of something truly important: their crests. Whether you call them crests, logos, badges or blazing shields of defiance and optimism, they make up … Continue reading

The Peter Crouch Myth

It seems to be widely accepted as fact that Peter Crouch only scores goals for England when faced with weak opposition. Having never felt that this reputation was justified, I have investigated statistically and found startling results that show that he is an incredibly prolific and underrated international centre forward and will change the face … Continue reading